When the Dogs Bite

Monday, 26 January 2026

26th January 2026

Bad dreams

Cookie wakes me at 4AM

for cuddle time

On Kondo-ing

Do I really need these tomes of artist's works?

the screens arranged around my day time chair?

(one to show me famous art, one that lurks

beneath the two PC monitors there

and two to show me views from cams outside)

And what of all these books to show me skills

to best defend myself if I can't run and hide

to be a victim not in these dark times of ills.

Or do I need the boxes of pastels, paints and pen

which clog up half the room before I start

or should I now give up my work and then

begin to be disposing of my art?

And all the clothes I do not need

And all the kitchen goods to feed?

Sunday, 25 January 2026

25th January 2026

new muzzle

goes on Cookie's "Don't Like" list

except slot for ham

Clearly Filmed by Witness

Thy Second Amendment right to bear arms

has hereby been revoked, unless thou art

a registered Republican who harms

protestors who are voting with their heart.

If thou art a Republican thou might

shove someone who be filming thee on phone

and with five other agents start a fight

and beat him in the face while he be prone.

Disarm him from his holstered legal gun

then when he gets back up upon his knees

shoot him ten more times for thine own fun

and spin whatever story thou doth please.

What Alex Jeffrey Pretti now needs is some justice

not some bullshit pretence of domestic terrorist.

Saturday, 24 January 2026

24th January 2026

Mr Whippy

it's far too cold for ice-cream

"flagellation, please"

Every Seven Seconds

A former Conservative councillor

pleads guilty to sexual offences

drugging and raping his wife and with four

more men in voyeuristic intentions.

From Enfield and Swindon the accused, Philip Young,

denied eight further counts of porno of children;

while Joanne, his ex, testifies to his wrong:

Prosecution has a good case to build on.

Young, of Amberley Road, published 500 pictures

and vids of his ex-wife without telling her

Council for defence says he lives by the scriptures

(we're assuming that priests adhere strictly to law.)

Five neighbours and friends have all pled 'not guilty'

but plea deals are made to breach oaths of fealty.

Friday, 23 January 2026

23rd January 2026

advanced defence

the free sharing of tips and tricks

teaching chokes

Of Greenland Green and Ice

Call me not by another given name

except for that which I have deemed as mine

for thou shalt cause me disrespect and shame

If thou decide to call me cunt or bitch

and add not the Mistress epithet

then be not more offended by that which

I chose with to respond. But woulds't thou risk it?

And if thou ramble on about a land

the be thou sure thou have the name quite clear

or else take heed thy words will be of sand

washed o'er by waves of North Atlantic cheer.

Observe: Thy popularity doth plummet

for thou will be forever barred the summit.

Thursday, 22 January 2026

22nd January 2026

paying for collection

saves a tedious post office trip

waiting in for hours

Without Remorse

If Amanda Wixon could only hold her still

the records of abuse would not be so compiled,

for she claims the victim not a slave until

the police had found the child she so reviled.

The unnamed victim, daughter of Amanda's friend

was taken in to live at just sixteen

to assist Amanda with her need to tend

her children whom the schools had never seen.

And though this sounds like cinematic plot

of Maga folk in isolated farms

this happened in a house in Tewkesbury, Glos.

and failed to trip authorities' alarms.

A quarter of a century of slaving

Amanda out on bail for money saving.

Wednesday, 21 January 2026

21st January 2026

day's workshop

teaching self defence to women

cancelled 'cause I'm trans.

Badges for BP

Put not wet cardboard in your green bin

for the fibres break too much to be recycled

put it with your landfill trash and begin

in respect of that to which you are entitled.

Now strip away those horrid bits of sticky

they gum up our machines and make them stop

and we think an oily pizza box is icky

just recycle bits without the slop.

And most of all, please wash out all your empties

we don't want to see baked beans inside the tin

foetid milk arrives here in the plenty.

so "rinse it out" is our phrase for the win.

This is the world out children will inherit

your carbon footprint earns you a demerit.

Tuesday, 20 January 2026

20th January 2026

warm bed

and no alarm set

insistent dogs

Canalside Garden

My father knew the value of a compost heap

but rarely did he utilise that great resource

for although every piece of kitchen waste would reap

compost that was enrichened by the droppings of the horse.

Right next to the compost mound he kept a pile

of orchard twigs and logs cut from his dozen fruitful trees

when overgrowth might force the trimming for a while

to get his Mountfield mower through their knees.

And once a month he disregarded neighbour's washing lines

and set alight the pile of twigs and leaf

along with all the rubbish he could gather on the tines

to keep his dustbin light for men to heave.

The ashes from the Aga stove collected in a pail

lined the garden paths through which he daily would travail.