When the Dogs Bite

Sunday, 11 January 2026

11th January 2026

packing groceries

at the self-service checkout

some bloke starts scanning

93 YO Kills Wife, Turns Himself In.

As fast as love can grow, it can be sustained

for more than sixty years before thine age breaks hold

the bond between the two that was obtained

when yet still young enough to love and to be bold.

Richard Hocking took charge of his beloved wife

confined to a chair in pain as health decayed

and barely able to endure her life

for threescore years his love for her arrayed.

This Freemont man went out and bought a gun

and waited for a month ere licence granted

and tended every need she put upon

without complaint for this his love demanded.

A final trip by car to beauty spot

then confession to police his wife he's shot.

Saturday, 10 January 2026

10th January 2026

morning sunshine

backlighting frosty streets

neighbour's trash

2006: The Internet is for Porn

2026: AI is for Kiddie Porn.

"We're not a bunch of paedophiles," says Don,

destroying Epstein's documents tout suite;

"I wasn't mates with Jeffie later on

except on trips to ogle lady meat.

And just because dear Elon pays me well

it doesn't mean that I use Grok at all

except to make my pictures look so swell

that people for my schilling schemes will fall.

Republicans use X like necklace pearls

to poke some harmless fun at Lefty Loons

by using Grok to undress little girls

('it isn't kiddie porn's our favourite tune.')

And if the Brits do ban the Musky app

I'll add a load of sanctions till they stop.

Friday, 9 January 2026

9th January 2026

overnight snow

shovelling outside paths

grateful neighbour

American Gestapo

While Donnie makes his private wars upon the world

and states he now wants Greenland and Cuba;

capitalist propaganda plans unfurled

with cash-for-favours from his mighty poobah.

Meanwhile, his personal Gestapo kill

whoever might annoy them most of all

Minnesotan roads are snowy, still,

and stained with blood from a victim's fall.

Meanwhile here, the would-be dictator states

we will abide by Putin's wise decree

when he's Prime Minister our fates

will be a Russian subsidiary.

Agent Ross, who shot "lesbo" Renee Good

"killed only the queers, as all ICE agents should."

Thursday, 8 January 2026

8th January 2026

Minneapolis murder

ICE agent shoots point blank

at fleeing bystander

On the Burning Origin of 'Guys'

So many things today are named, in truth,

after people once in the public eye.

Think ye of Darwinism (that, forsooth,

religious folk protest until they die!)

Or of Fourth Earl of Sandwich, Montegu

whom while gambling, liked a chunk of meat

between two cuts of bread - now so do you

though oft you swap the beef for something sweet.

Nowadays, at times thou call thy friends as 'guys'

but mayhap you not know from whence this comes

so named for effigies of Fawkes' disguise

'tis now a term for shoddy, ill-dressed bums.

So though thou think thyself to be polite,

thy friendly use of 'guys' be not alright.

Wednesday, 7 January 2026

7th January 2026

Donnie's new hair

a pink rinse is the height of fashion

for 1970

On Walking Virtual Streets

How blessed are we with modern internet

when I can Google streetview a French road

and trace my path from Hayley's house to get

to a specific shop from her abode.

Boulevard National I had recalled

but not if we turned left or we turned right;

So up and down the virtual street I walked

ere the shop front that I remembered came to sight.

And then a Google search of said shop name

revealed to me a link to Facebook site

where I could leave a message on the same

to enquire if I could purchase goods, all right?

But then, for I am clumsy with French language,

use Google Translate as a culture bandage.

Tuesday, 6 January 2026

6th January 2026

Christmas decorations

still covering the houses

littering school parents

On the Journey of the Protagonist

Thou writes again with but a shorter frame

of words within thy characters might dwell

and yet progress the plans of Death's new game

and figure out what skill thou can excel.

For relics of the past lead summer on

to the final winter of thy soul,

thy pity checked with need and duty never gone,

and endless infamy to be thy goal.

And though thou be protagonist in tale

in death thou be the villain of the piece

for there be few of women or of male

who desire thee to make their life surcease.

But when at the end their do their maker meet,

then they will learn how much of life was sweet.

Monday, 5 January 2026

5th January 2026

cold morning

pissing on the windscreen

warm water

On Declining to Perform Shakespeare

Duke Orsinio pining for Olivia

whilst shipwrecked twins wash up on separate shores;

Viola wants to serve the Countess all year

but, pining for Sebastian, she cannot offer chores.

So Viola dons some drag to serve the duke

and calls herself Cesario instead

Orsinio sends (him) by some well-plotted fluke

to woo the countess in his stead.

Meanwhile the brother, Seb, turns up, and dim,

becomes engaged to the lady fair

(because she loves Cesario and thinks he (him)

though Viola loves the duke, I swear.

But thanks to the Americans, who voted for a joke

actors in drag are hanged 'til dead by his Red Hatted folk.