When the Dogs Bite

Tuesday, 31 March 2026

31st March 2026

wake up!

there's a man at the front door

(open it naked)

Idaho

H.B. 752

passes state legislature

by 28-7 votes

(29 Republicans, 6 democrats)

for the harshest punishments ever

for a transperson to use the bathroom.

First time violation

is a misdemeanour

and up to a year in jail

of the assigned at birth gender, of course.

Failing to stop at an accident

or keeping a brothel would get you half that.

A second violation is five years in prison

For using a public toilet

and it may be of interest that's it's only two years

for incest, zoophilia or necrophilia;

abduction of a child

and possession and use of a date-rape drug.

A fourth violation becomes a third felony conviction

which carries five years to life

for peeing in a public toilet,

but raping your own child is only seven years;

Racially motivated GBH - seven years

Indecent assault is ten years,

Stealing a car, Aggravated burglary

and child prostitution is fourteen years;

You generally only get a life sentence

for Murder, setting off a bomb,

hijacking a plane, or using a wrong-gender toilet.

On the positive side, public urination is just a fine

so piss outside the door and you'll be fine

as long as no kids are present.

Otherwise, if it's your fourth offence,

the death of the tattle-tale

would likely garner a shorter sentence.

Trans people could face life in prison under bathroom ban

Monday, 30 March 2026

30th March 2026

really?

Three more loft boxes of books

No room down here!

Muddles

I had a moment

where I confused the Duffy people

and thought Carol Ann

was the Poet from Atlantis

and then another

where I confuse the Simons

and though that Armitage

was the painter of imaginary landscapes

and Lewty the poet.

And one more time

where I confuse two Lucys

and trade out my soul

to a martial arts Actress.

Actually, Fair enough.

Sunday, 29 March 2026

29th March 2026

cold clouds

foreshadowing rain

aching knees

Under Stairs

the cupboard is too small

for anything useful -- one place I lived

I used this area for my computer

but this one is filled with tools

fixings and things to fix on.

Do I really need six bags

full of individual tools?

Seven spare extension cords?

Or four plastic drawers

full of orphaned screws?

Keeping 'just in case'

is my father's hoarding legacy.

If I've got a job to do

I can order from online

so what I need to do now

is chuck the lot as scrap metal

and sort it into two toolkits at most.

But that's a job and a half

for another day.

Saturday, 28 March 2026

28th March 2026

sunshine

with impending clouds

my dad's scythe

Poetically Questioned

Why does the rope

become a metaphor for relationships

when the disabled become soldiers

of drone-flight bombers?

What became of your aunt

in the years after her son died?

You wanted to be like him

when you were a young man

but you coveted his wife

even before their divorce.

Can you remember your telephone number

from when you were a child?

And what about the Mobile number of your daughter now

without looking it up?

And what about those memories you have

when you look at old photographs?

Do those people still exist in your head

or have they faded from memory

like the Polaroids from your instant camera?

And did those people ever exist at all,

or were they as imaginary as your friends?

Friday, 27 March 2026

27th March 2026

more rain

looks like indoor jobs today.

Decluttering.

For Sale, Used

Demijohns

seven of them, in glass

three more full ones (costs extra)

and a couple of plastic ones

if that's your style.

Worth a fiver each,

I'm selling three for a tenner.

Twenty each for the full ones

but only to responsible adults

(let's say the jars are twenty quid

and the gallon of wine is free

so I don't break any laws)

And if you don't make wine

you could fill them with coins

before they stop being made

use them for spider habitats

or toenail clippings.

No judgement here.

You do you.

Thursday, 26 March 2026

26th March 2026

old love, rekindled

Bacon, Chagall, Lewty

where's my Oulton?

Tell me Something

Conversation cards

ask what I look for in other people

and mostly it can easy:

Acceptance.

How do you feel about race?

culture? immigration? politics?

How do you feel about homosexuality?

feminism? transgender issues?

Are you religious? If you are,

do you use your Big Book of Rules

to oppress other people

and call it The Will of God?

Do you gloss over rules that should apply to you

and pretend it's okay to molest children

because your God wants More Babies

or He gave you the urge to do so?

I love you,

and the world needs your diversity

but you can Fuck Right Off.

Wednesday, 25 March 2026

25th March 2026

holiday fosterdog

hates having his nails cut

pees everywhere

Clearance II

Did I fail in my current zealotry;

I couldn't think of what to give away

(does anyone want some wine?

I have four gallons and no bottles)

so I spent the last hour of sunshine

sawing off the bottom foot of the garden gate

and replacing it with good solid wood

from the pile of hoarded pallets.

I hadn't finished before the rains came.

My electric drill, sparking.