When the Dogs Bite

Thursday, 29 January 2026

29th January 2026

Blink camera

so much of a deterrent

it got nicked

Stubb's Road, 1990

Evening sunshine in communal living room

a tenant in an upstairs rented flat

bought for pennies by a slumlord blue tycoon

but drier than the one though rented last.

The furniture thou use is most thine own

from years of student living in the town

and sharing with a man who carveth stone

and an Irish lad who talks often of home.

In this golden hour thou is harkening a piece

an opera by the famous Philip Glass

which lulls thy troubled thought into release

and brings to thee serenity of mass.

Now Glass cancels performing in the former Kennedy Hall

while the president doth name himself the Greatest King of All.

Wednesday, 28 January 2026

28th January 2026

fourteen years

I've played Elder Scrolls Online

subscription cancelled

Bread for Every Meal

Wouldst thou become an omnivore again

consuming all the creatures with a face

'twould save thee time and money, though the shame

of eating living souls brings fall from grace.

Mashed up sardines upon a single piece of toast

would cost nary a pound to set the meal

Onion on a slab of bread with cheese to roast

or with kettle-poaching teacup egg appeal.

A warming mug of Bovril mixed with dripping;

or perhaps a tin of soup with buttered bread

a salty mug of Oxo for the sipping;

Potted meat in jars; mac and cheese instead.

And to be praised of ages yet to be.

tomatoes ladled over bread, with just a smidge of mustard;

eggy bread, a pot of tea; a bit of jam and custard.

Tuesday, 27 January 2026

27th January 2026

Religious saying:

"Jesus has your back."

A rear-naked choke?

A very Gendered Fear

a subject of own concern is health

and the terror of the method I might die

I prior thought ironic: without wealth

upon the NHS I would rely.

For given I am Trans, and woman, now,

the terrible affliction that I fear

while being banned from women's wards the wow!

would be prostrate cancer biting out my rear.

But whilst performing my nightly wellness check

I found a lump that I do not recall

it's sent my mind spinning, for, oh heck!

Will genitalia cancer be my fall?

Compounding with my trans-related issue:

my vagina is composed of scrotal tissue.

Monday, 26 January 2026

26th January 2026

Bad dreams

Cookie wakes me at 4AM

for cuddle time

On Kondo-ing

Do I really need these tomes of artist's works?

the screens arranged around my day time chair?

(one to show me famous art, one that lurks

beneath the two PC monitors there

and two to show me views from cams outside)

And what of all these books to show me skills

to best defend myself if I can't run and hide

to be a victim not in these dark times of ills.

Or do I need the boxes of pastels, paints and pen

which clog up half the room before I start

or should I now give up my work and then

begin to be disposing of my art?

And all the clothes I do not need

And all the kitchen goods to feed?

Sunday, 25 January 2026

25th January 2026

new muzzle

goes on Cookie's "Don't Like" list

except slot for ham

Clearly Filmed by Witness

Thy Second Amendment right to bear arms

has hereby been revoked, unless thou art

a registered Republican who harms

protestors who are voting with their heart.

If thou art a Republican thou might

shove someone who be filming thee on phone

and with five other agents start a fight

and beat him in the face while he be prone.

Disarm him from his holstered legal gun

then when he gets back up upon his knees

shoot him ten more times for thine own fun

and spin whatever story thou doth please.

What Alex Jeffrey Pretti now needs is some justice

not some bullshit pretence of domestic terrorist.

Saturday, 24 January 2026

24th January 2026

Mr Whippy

it's far too cold for ice-cream

"flagellation, please"

Every Seven Seconds

A former Conservative councillor

pleads guilty to sexual offences

drugging and raping his wife and with four

more men in voyeuristic intentions.

From Enfield and Swindon the accused, Philip Young,

denied eight further counts of porno of children;

while Joanne, his ex, testifies to his wrong:

Prosecution has a good case to build on.

Young, of Amberley Road, published 500 pictures

and vids of his ex-wife without telling her

Council for defence says he lives by the scriptures

(we're assuming that priests adhere strictly to law.)

Five neighbours and friends have all pled 'not guilty'

but plea deals are made to breach oaths of fealty.

Friday, 23 January 2026

23rd January 2026

advanced defence

the free sharing of tips and tricks

teaching chokes

Of Greenland Green and Ice

Call me not by another given name

except for that which I have deemed as mine

for thou shalt cause me disrespect and shame

If thou decide to call me cunt or bitch

and add not the Mistress epithet

then be not more offended by that which

I chose with to respond. But woulds't thou risk it?

And if thou ramble on about a land

the be thou sure thou have the name quite clear

or else take heed thy words will be of sand

washed o'er by waves of North Atlantic cheer.

Observe: Thy popularity doth plummet

for thou will be forever barred the summit.