When the Dogs Bite

Monday, 15 June 2026

15th June 2026

Honeysuckle

sparks and buzzes when trimmed

oops

After Marlowe

Come live with me and be my dog

through woods and valleys we will slog

along the edge of farmer's fields

but leashed when sheep are in the weald.

I'll pick thy poop from where it lies

in earthen friendly bags with ties

and towel thee dry when thou art wet

and hold thy paw when at the vet.

And I will make thee comfy beds

and lock thee not in outside sheds

and never hurt thee with intent

and never charge thee any rent.

A morning meal of meat and rye

will set the up for walks in style

and homeward bound, I give thee ham

for thou lies patient as a lamb.

And evening meal, the same again

and daily treats just as and when

and if these promises thou move

come live with me and be my love.

Sunday, 14 June 2026

14th June 2026

genre binge

other people's Hell

films and novels

Sliding into My DMs

He sends a message

but it's a private one,

in reply to a public post

and it raises suspicion.

It's just a 'hello'

but if I reply, is that an invitation to intercourse?

I don't want to make friends,

I was just being helpful

on a community forum

and the tiny thumbnail of me

makes me look vaguely attractive

because you can't see the wrinkles.

I'm sure he's a lovely young man:

he tells me so himself,

three of four times a day

but the only time I like to put my arm around a man

is to choke him from behind.

Saturday, 13 June 2026

13th June 2026

A&E

five hours of waiting

bird song

Bow (Wow Wow)

"There's something going on," he says,

his clipped English softened by the soft hills

of Derbyshire's rolling landscape

and I look out and yes,

there a people in the street

standing outside their houses.

I join the neighbours and ask

the funeral procession for a local lad

is due to pass at ten A.M.

We watch the hearse pass by,

an undertaker walking ahead to stop the traffic;

the children at the infant's school

all waving goodbye

and the neighbour cries

because his dog has just died, too.

Friday, 12 June 2026

12th June 2026

morning face licks

three hours of sleep

brings dogwalk time

Sign O' the Times

We don't ask what is wrong?

We ask "how are you?"

and expect the answer 'Fine, thanks.'

It is considered impolite

to say 'no,' and detail the pain

in all your left diodes,

and at two A.M.

when a woman walks into A&E

with a serious head wound

and her boyfriend says 'she fell over,'

everyone immediately checks his knuckles.

Thursday, 11 June 2026

11th June 2026

beans on toast

makes for Wednesday dinner

and toilet Thursday

Don't Play a Victim II

Mother always told me to walk outside the curve;

for where vehicles take the 'racing line'

and can hit pedestrians in the tighter side;

The lady next door said to always walk

on the same side as the traffic moves;

and the school safety inspector said the opposite:

to walk against the traffic

for maximum visibility.

Self defence sides with the school inspector:

but for a different reason:

You can run the way you were going

while an assailant has to turn their car around.

Wednesday, 10 June 2026

10th June 2026

night terrors

growing more prevalent

sudden wakings

Don't Play a Victim

There are two roles to play:

that of the fearless fighter

who will balk at nothing and no-one

with no fear of their adversary;

or the deranged mad person;

loud, aggressive, challenging;

fearless of the consequences of your engagement.

Both are roles meant to frighten;

to scare away a potential foe

but the one to be afraid of

is the one who looks you in the eyes

and when you look back

there is nothing to resemble pity.

Tuesday, 9 June 2026

9th June 2026

carrying stock

eBay listings all cancelled

given away

Self Sabotage

she's doing her best;

to reuse; recycle; donate

and then the convenient coffee

cost ten times the price of instant

to recycle each plastic pod

and the milk ones are just powdered

and marketed as premium.

She switches to instant,

but almost all of those

are blow dried, inferior beans

mixed with a dash of grounds

for that 'expensive' taste and price tag.

She wants to make proper coffee

but doesn't have the time to spare

and what the fuck

is that constant plinking?

Coffee brands to AVOID

love songs

sung through a microphone

using voice over IP

to a woman she's never met;

never ever seen a photo of,

but the woman sends her money

so she doesn't really care.