They don't like
Lesbian
Mrs Vordstone, with her
canary yellow walls
and her husband's an
architect, you know,
she only works here
because she gets bored
and her salary provides
a second holiday.
Have you seen the
pictures of us on safari?
It was too hot, really.
I wouldn't go again.
Not in the summer,
anyway, and besides,
we're putting a
conservatory on the back of the house.
Are you going anywhere
nice, Tina?
Young, vivacious, fond
of a bottle of red
when she leaves the
office but won't date
anyone past eleven
because her cat expects her home,
She calls her underwear
'pants' and flirts with the gay guy
who detests lesbians
and won't give them the time of day.
He lives with a
solicitor, goes to church on Sundays
and holidays, shows his
knickers to his subordinates
and asks for coffee
without sugar because he's sweet enough.
Isn't that right, Jo?
Down to earth, comes from Dudley
where the pinnacle of
achievement is to have your name
printed in the local
rag as long as it's not in the convicted pages.
Her fiancée is a
mechanic, which would be handy if she
ever agreed to
introduce him but her yellow Clio
is always in good nick.
Not like hers. They don't speak to her
except to ask about
cases or to pass work on
because lets face it,
she's faster than them and outstrips
even the manager in
brains-per-square-hipster.
She pretends not to
care, has a nervous breakdown
on her way to work but
nobody sends a card.
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