Monday, 18 April 2016

April Poems 2016/18

They don't like Lesbian 

Mrs Vordstone, with her canary yellow walls
and her husband's an architect, you know,
she only works here because she gets bored
and her salary provides a second holiday.
Have you seen the pictures of us on safari?
It was too hot, really. I wouldn't go again.
Not in the summer, anyway, and besides,
we're putting a conservatory on the back of the house.
Are you going anywhere nice, Tina?
Young, vivacious, fond of a bottle of red
when she leaves the office but won't date
anyone past eleven because her cat expects her home,
She calls her underwear 'pants' and flirts with the gay guy
who detests lesbians and won't give them the time of day.
He lives with a solicitor, goes to church on Sundays
and holidays, shows his knickers to his subordinates
and asks for coffee without sugar because he's sweet enough.
Isn't that right, Jo? Down to earth, comes from Dudley
where the pinnacle of achievement is to have your name
printed in the local rag as long as it's not in the convicted pages.
Her fiancée is a mechanic, which would be handy if she
ever agreed to introduce him but her yellow Clio
is always in good nick. Not like hers. They don't speak to her
except to ask about cases or to pass work on
because lets face it, she's faster than them and outstrips
even the manager in brains-per-square-hipster.
She pretends not to care, has a nervous breakdown
on her way to work but nobody sends a card.

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