Sunday, 1 May 2016

May Shorts 2016/01

Straight Man

“Ah, go on.” Bryn pushed the drink toward her. “I thought you people liked Coke.”

Mel scowled. “What do you mean, 'you people?' Black? Would you prefer I sit on a different table?” She pushed the glass away from her, into the neutral territory of the middle of the table.

“God, no.” Bryn held his hands up, fingers splayed. “I didn't mean that. I meant --” He lowered his voice to barely above a whisper. “I meant lesbians.”

“Right, because that's so much better.” Bernie tut-tutted at him. “Manners, dear brother.”

“It wasn't an insult.” He took a long swallow of his own drink, wiping the foam from his mouth with his forearm. “I was just trying to be inclusive.”

“Honestly, I don't drink any pop. Or beer, for that matter.” Mel forced a smile. “It's too full of sugar. I prefer wine, thanks. Maybe a cider on a hot day but that's about my limit.”

“Okay. Do you want me to get you some wine? Red or white?”

“Honestly, I'm fine with this one. I don't want to drink too much and give the wrong impression.”

“I won't say no, though, Bryn.” Bernie reached for the discarded Coke. “I'll have a Blue Nun.”

Bryn snorted. “You'd have anything in a skirt, you would.”

Bernie leaned toward Mari and nudged her with an elbow. “Don't believe him. I wouldn't at all. I draw the line at anyone over forty.”

“I should hope not.” Mari sipped at her glass. “That's like, as old as my mom. I can't imagine... doing it... with someone that old.”

“Why not?” Bryn heaved himself to his feet and collected up the empty glasses in one meaty hand. “Isn't that being as exclusive as you thought I was being? I've seen plenty of younger women with older men.”

“That's different.”


“Old men are generally well off.” Mel grinned, dispelling the oppressive mood. “I'd abandon my principles for a rich older woman.”

“Widows.” Bernie raised her half-glass of Coke into the air. “God bless them, every one.”


Ravyne said...

Clever story! I love all the missteps in communication. Enjoy this!

Rachel Green said...

Thank you :)