Tuesday, 3 May 2016
May Shorts 2016/03
“Hey, look!” Angela reached under the hedge and extracted a plastic bag with something round and head-shaped inside.
Chloe thought about how well her week was going. “It's probably a severed head.” She thought about the television program she'd fallen asleep in front of last night. “A zombie head. Still alive and desperate for brains.”
“It'll be shit out of luck with Angie, then.” Fiona Cunningham laughed uproariously and punched Chloe on her arm.
Angela scowled. “Knob off, Cuntingham.”
Chloe rubbed her arm. “You'll be witty one day, Fee. You're half way there already.”
“This is so cool.” Angela sorted through the contents. “It must have belonged to a special forces copper, look. There's a gas mask and a pair of handcuffs.” She pulled them out and looked again. “And a collar and lead.”
Fiona nudged Chloe and winked. “Must be a Special Police dog handler. Is there anything else in there?”
“A tear gas cannister.” Angela squinted at the label. “Aqua glide.”
Chloe laid her hand on her friend's arm. “I don't think that belonged to a copper, Ange. That's lube.”
“You know. For making things slippery?” Fiona demonstrated a few pelvic thrusts.
The change in Angela's expression from excited to horrified couldn't have been faked. She thrust the bag at Chloe. “Take it away.”
“Could be useful.” Fiona intercepted the bag. “There are a lot of people into this sort of thing.”
“How would you know?”
She thrust an arm over each of their shoulders, the plastic bag banging against Chloe's jacket. “Let me tell you about it.”