27th May 2026

 

Cook prefers bathrooms

be kept neat and tidy

short-cut grass

© Rachel Green May 2026

Old Men, Young Wives

"Don't call us paedophiles," they said,

"We love kids in Oklahoma;

we can ban their education

then they're unlikely to roam-a.

"The Bible verse allows us

to wed a pre-pubescent teen

We have to know they're virgins

'cause the old ones are obscene.

"We don't need no government

to tell us who to wed

we'd rather have our children

tucked up safely in our bed.

"It says right here in Hebrews

we can wed a babe in arms

unless that baby's Jewish

then deport them to our farms.

"It isn't paedophilia

if you're married to the kid

then when they give us daughters

we can marry them instead.

"God doesn't like divorce at all

that's why he gave us guns

and taught us to make alcohol

so "accidents' are done.

We don't like homosexuals

because their sex gives us the icks

we want the manly men round here

with kiddies on their arms.

© Rachel Green May 2026

36 Republicans vote for child marriages