5th May 2026

 

low air quality

"Greatest firework display ever"

cancelled

© Rachel Green July 2026

“You are old, Auntie Rachel,” the young student said,

“And your face has gone wrinkly and tight

And yet you incessantly put people in locks

Do you think, at your age, it is right?”

“In my youth,” aging Rachel replied to the lad,

“I was taunted for being red-haired;

But after those years of shaving it off,

I wish that I never had cared.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “as I mentioned before,

And have lost all your middle-aged fat;

But declined to partake of a pizza for four;

Pray, what is the reason for that?”

“In my youth,” said the lady, while stretching her legs

“I was too poor to buy decent food

but now all my protein is red beans and eggs:

Who taught you to be quite this rude?”

“You are old,” said the youth, “and your kidneys are weak

to drink anything other than gin,

Yet you choked everyone who showed up to the gym

Pray, how did you manage to win?”

“In my youth,” said the woman, “I took to the mats,

And trained until I fell asleep

And the muscular memory left in arms

Can still make the men-fighters weep.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “and your cataracts spread

For you to see anything clearly;

Yet you kick Reform candidates right in the head

What made you so liberal leaning?”

“Don’t vote for the fascists!” the old lady replied

"I was raised as a boy by the regs.;

“Do you think I can stand all the anti-trans jibes?

Now be off, or I’ll break both your legs!”

© Rachel Green July 2026

*Apologies to the late Mr Carroll