17th March 2023

blackbird

hiding in a privet bush

drunk teenager

© Rachel Green March 2023

what is the threshold

between collector, hoarder and just liking stuff?

The floors are clear,

except for my shoes (four pairs for

dogwalking, gym, house, errands)

and the detritus of the dog's play

(chewed toys, stuffing, tennis balls)

but in the living room are piles of possessions;

bowls of things divested from pockets,

teetering piles of books

that will probably never be read.

The bathroom is normal daily grime

but has stacks of plastic bottles

shampoos and conditioners, hand soaps and scrubs.

The loft is full of boxes;

art materials, games, collected weapons;

all are signs of me clinging to a past

that will never return

(although I'm glad I kept the kimonos.)

I know I'm a digital hoarder.

Music, films, programs, writings;

all sit on external hard drives

but I don't feel so bad about those.

All can be disposed of with an unplugging

or a house fire and nobody cares

about old photos of my deceased parents.

But my overriding anxiety says

"What will the new cleaning lady think?"

© Rachel Green March 2023