The Appetite of Edward Edwards

Edward Edwards loved to eat
the sweetest things of all
he wouldn’t touch his veg or meat,
his mother wouldn’t call
young Edward to the table ‘til
the pudding was set out
(though bread and butter made him ill
and custard gave him gout.)

Edward ate ice-cream and fudge
and toffee in the wrappers;
for cake and biscuits wouldn’t budge
and milkshakes like the clappers.
You might be worried that his teeth
would rot from all the sugar
he had them taken out beneath
a dental surgeon mugger.

He’s more than happy with his gums
to suck at sweets and cakes
He still lives at his dad and mums
and current buns he makes.
A heart attack at twenty four
a news reel on the telly.
They would have saved his life before
but couldn’t pass his belly.